It's been a year now since i recovered from my blood disorder. Recover from my moonface and my sickness.
Yesterday (May 11th) it came back again.
My platelet count was 34,000, the normal measure is 150,000-400,000, down below.
Is it because i was preoccupied with my workloads?I don't know.
The symptoms are :
1. Exhaustion
2. Feeling dizzy, terrible headache.
3. Purple spot below the skin.
4. Gum or lip bleeding
5. Long period of menstruation.
Ketika aku merasa bahwa semuanya mulai membaik, bahwa periode di mana aku harus berhenti bergulat dengan kelainanku akhirnya datang, mendadak semua berubah.
I have to struggle again, feeling upset everytime my medication period over and my body aching badly.
The end of medication:
1. Round face and bloating like a fish.
2. A-hit-by-a-truck-feeling of my body.
3. Sleepless night (insomnia).
4. Soft skin and black soft hair.
5. Unable to concentrate and being the most stupid person in the world..
Sad yes, upset yes, but i have to be spirited again.
Been there and done that, apa salahnya berjuang sekali lagi. At least i have faith that there will be Sun in the end of my journey.
It's okay if this disorder comes back, but one thing i hope from God...THE STRENGHT to continue fighting and living, the spirit to continue dreaming for the future, the Faith that all of it happens for the best.
Carpe Diem!
(Conquest this Day!)
Minggu, 11 Mei 2008
Kamis, 01 Mei 2008
Morning dew... n wandering
Seminggu ini bener2 full dengan kegiatan.
Jumat sabtu minggu lalu (22-23 April) aku ikut ke Nongkojajar, mendampingi mahasiswa kuliah Etika Profesi, for this i can have score for community service. Selain kesibukan mempersiapkan materi dan mahasiswa yang lain teramat sangat menyenangkan. The view was incredibly great, beautiful. The weather at times can be so cold. Bener2 nikmat n menyenangkan. Berasa liburan, meskipun di hari pertama sibuk hubungi Surabaya ngurus kegiatan yang lain, if only i can split my body into 2 pieces...
Ketika aku lihat kondisi di sana yang sebenarnya kekurangan, aku menjadi sangat bersyukur atas segala fasilitas yang bisa aku nikmati di sini. I like it there, tapi untuk sekedar liburan. I know i am a city girl that cannot live long time in a village.
Tempat kami menginap adalah rumah Pak Yatiman, orang yang sangat taat dan pelayan Tuhan. He'd serve God for 21 years now, and still continue doing it. He's running a sort of bible or priest school where the pupils are youngsters are from all of Indonesia. Mereka tidak hanya dibekali pelajaran iman tapi juga ketrampilan sehari2 dan bahkan yang bisa dijadikan usaha. Mereka punya jam kebaktian atau doa khusus pada sore hari dan subuh.
With a fresh air and full of prayers surrounding, i felt that i can renew myself.
But today, i don't know why, i feel so depressed. Wanna cry and just close my eyes n not wake up anymore.
Aku tidak tahu apa yang terjadi denganku, feel so emotional n afraid.
Rasanya kepercayaan diriku turun 180 derajat. Hiks.
Jumat sabtu minggu lalu (22-23 April) aku ikut ke Nongkojajar, mendampingi mahasiswa kuliah Etika Profesi, for this i can have score for community service. Selain kesibukan mempersiapkan materi dan mahasiswa yang lain teramat sangat menyenangkan. The view was incredibly great, beautiful. The weather at times can be so cold. Bener2 nikmat n menyenangkan. Berasa liburan, meskipun di hari pertama sibuk hubungi Surabaya ngurus kegiatan yang lain, if only i can split my body into 2 pieces...
Ketika aku lihat kondisi di sana yang sebenarnya kekurangan, aku menjadi sangat bersyukur atas segala fasilitas yang bisa aku nikmati di sini. I like it there, tapi untuk sekedar liburan. I know i am a city girl that cannot live long time in a village.
Tempat kami menginap adalah rumah Pak Yatiman, orang yang sangat taat dan pelayan Tuhan. He'd serve God for 21 years now, and still continue doing it. He's running a sort of bible or priest school where the pupils are youngsters are from all of Indonesia. Mereka tidak hanya dibekali pelajaran iman tapi juga ketrampilan sehari2 dan bahkan yang bisa dijadikan usaha. Mereka punya jam kebaktian atau doa khusus pada sore hari dan subuh.
With a fresh air and full of prayers surrounding, i felt that i can renew myself.
But today, i don't know why, i feel so depressed. Wanna cry and just close my eyes n not wake up anymore.
Aku tidak tahu apa yang terjadi denganku, feel so emotional n afraid.
Rasanya kepercayaan diriku turun 180 derajat. Hiks.
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